Helping a 13 YO ADHD-er find motivation

So Am I a bad Mom because I decided to use a modified format of a performance Improvement plan with my 13 YO?

Background: Football – Hubby observed him last night in warm up drills, getting out of line and working his way back to the end of the line to avoid hitting drills. Then, in the end of session sprints, He’s the first off the line, but the last one to finish and his body language is saying he is exhausted. (Hands on head, breathing deep) But we watched him spend the past 20 minutes standing watching the plays being run. No reason for the exhaustion. He’s not a whipped puppy when he gets into the car.

Last week we had a discussion about how his lack of effort is frustrating us and making us feel like we are wasting our time, coaches times, etc. Coaches are not going to spend the time with a kid who’s not willing to expend a lot of effort. I’m not willing to give up my free time driving him the 24 miles round trip to practice.

Part of what I sent him:

Here’s what we are asking for:
1. Give the drills your all. Stay in line, hit hard.
2. Dig deep for the energy to run. Start really conditioning yourself. Don’t just think about it.
3. Stop hanging around the end of the line in drills.

The other kids who are beating you in the sprints have been in on a lot more plays. You are more rested than they are.

If we don’t see this in the next week, we will no longer drive you to practice. If we are going to take the time to leave work early and utilize our free time, then you need to show us you appreciate it and really want to play football.

Your actions are telling me “I don’t really want to play football, I just want to be able to say I am part of the team.” That’s not good enough for me.

Think long and hard.
What are your goals?
What are you willing to do to achieve those goals?

We will put as much effort into helping you achieve your goals as you do. Right now with football, we are putting in more effort than you are.

Love, Mom.

Aaagh! I don't know if this will work. But he often says he does not know what the expectations are. So I put them in writing.

Update: We are going to have him tkae off his patch at 4:00 so his Meds wear off by the time Football practice begins. Let's see if that has any effect