Band Parents

Band Parents

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

School update- so far so good

Today is the 5th day in the new school for my 10YO. He seems happy. He mentions some friends. He's getting his homework finished in class. I will email the teacher to check up on him.

I did see some frustration and anger from him over the weekend. Big brother played his big brother card a couple of times, taking the chair the 10YO wanted and some other slight that really angered the 10YO. I finally looked at him and said "I am sorry that your brother is doing mean things to you and making you angry, but it is time to stop being so mad at the world. I can't change what he did." I do try to keep on top of it and get on the 14YO's case when he does this stuff.

Talking wiht the counselor at his last visit, she said that we need to "get him to stop looking at the world through shit-colored glasses." While crude, it is a good description of the 10 YO's attitude and view point.

I am finding it interesting that he wants to wear athletic pants everyday. "Everybody wears sweatpants" he tells me. Before school uniforms, I did have trouble getting him to wear taylored pants. He is also picky about the feel of his shrits and his socks. He does not like his shirts tight at all. His counselor also said that our capacity for irritation is only so deep. (I picture a well with the bucket on a rope). If some of that capacity is taken up by a scratchy shirt or some other barely noticable irritation, it takes up some of that capacity. I think then we add his daily frustrations of feeling slighted or bosses around by his brother, and he has no fuse left.

Combine this with a sensitive kid who now is starting to imagine slights or insults and we have have an angry boy.

Monday, February 15, 2010

It just keeps coming

Living in South West Ohio, we get snow. But we are experiencing our third "snow event" in 10 days. And another possibly storm coming our way Friday. Poor kid is doing a good job of keeping the driveay cleared. I am sure he is wishing for a snow blower.

Monday, February 08, 2010

Hardest of Decisions

I've never been a public school mom, but next week I will be.

Since last post, I did get an email form the Intervention specialist and there is a meeting set for NEXT week to see how to help A. But I talked to A's Counselor and she started asking questions about why it seemed there was such an escalation of his behavior. I told her that other kids seem to be provoking him this week . So she started asking what they were doing about this problem. I sent an email to the principal and her words were "I don't think you need to blow off A's problems by blaming other kids."

Decision made. He'll be in the public school by next week. But now I looked at the calendar and the school is off Monday and Tuesday. Hum. Wednesday then., But it seems as if it has become a toxic environment for him. Not good for a poor 10 year old.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

School, behavior, and services, oh my!

Isn't it amazing how something works well for one kids doesn't work for another?

I am referring to schools here. In Aug of 2007, both boys started at a new Catholic school. My older by was entering 7th grade. The younger (A) was entering 2nd. I worried more about the 7th grader. Guess what,. He did great. The kids embraced him even more than his old school where he had started as a kindergartner. It turns out the the 2nd grader struggled more.

Actually, I have to say that A had some trouble in First grade. He struggled to maintain friendships with his classmates. We kept telling him "You have to be a good friend to have a good friend."

At the new school, in second grade, A decided to try to impress everyone by telling them how smart he is. He'd try to monopolize the attention of any adult that came into the classroom. His teacher brought in the school psychologist who spent some of her time with him during her one day a week in the school role-playing.

The next year, Third grade, there were more of the same issues. We took him to a Counselor on our dime since the school no longer had the services of a school psychologist. We asked the counselor about some sort of social skills class for A. We asked about this because the older boy attended one when he was about First grade and it really helped him. Of course the counselor said a lot of the happen in the school system. (See where I am going here?)

But at the beginning of this year, fourth grade, he made a 180 degree turn. The school noticed a big difference, the counselor noticed a big difference and you could see that A was happier.

Until about 2 weeks ago. The note came home from school asking for a meeting.

We went and met with both of the fourth grade teachers. They said that his behavior had reverted again. He was struggling in group projects and on the playground. One example cited was that in a group exercise, they kept rotating jobs. On the third rotation, A boy was very happy with his job, but there was a girl who did not want to be the scribe so she traded with someone else. A did not this that was right or fair. The teacher did not have a problem with it. However, A just got very angry about it and was seen to be visibly shaking. They keep saying they are afraid that he might hurt himself or another kid. This meeting took place on Monday. We got him an appointment with the counselor on Friday.

Monday afternoon I get a call from the principal. He got into an argument on the playground and was heard to day "If I could, I'd get a gun and shoot you." She asked us to keep him home Tuesday for a cooling off period, and nothing put in him permanent record. Ok. I tried to make it as unfun as I could. Of course he lost the privileges of using any electronics. He cleaned 2 bathrooms, scrubbed a wall, worked with me cleaning the basement, went to the thrift store, etc. In between, he read a book and sang to him self. I guess there was pressure off of him.

So Dad picks him up from aftercare and finds out that before A said what he did, another boy said "I'm going to have my dad throw you off the top of the building." Ok, 10 Year old boys one upping each other. (We have water guns, but no other type in our house).

Friday we get another call. The day before he got into 2 fights. One was in the lunch line where he was arguing with one kids and he turned and picked up the kid behind him and shook him. That mother, understandably, called the principal. Turns out he thought the other kid was poking him in the back. We never did hear if that was true or not. Of course this is unacceptable. A is the biggest kid in the 4th grade. The other boy is one of he smallest.

The struggle I have is that the principal sent him home again saying she does not know what to do. She asked if we had any ideas and asked us to call the counselor for ideas. She says the other kids in the grade are getting afraid of A.

Then Friday afternoon Hubby get a call from the Dad who is his basketball coach. His son upset that A lest school at 9:30 and did not come back without showing any signs of being sick, and was very upset and telling his Dad that is is unfair to A. Coach talked to the Asst Coach who was at school and the intervening adult when the shaking action happened. They are saying that this past week there are three boys who are making it their mission to tease and harass A to get him to blow up. They happen to think it is ridiculous, but I am not going to second guess the school on that.

But why can't the school's intervention specialist help? I sent her an email.

However, this school is a Parochial, Catholic school. It is great for the mainstream, but they don't seem to be willing to work with A. I am ready to change him over to the Public school. That have staff that can help A. It has taken me all weekend to convince Hubby that this is the right thing to do. He's now with me.

Logistics are worrying me. The local school does not start until 8:40. Right now A gets on the bus at & Am and then i drive into work. If I could, I'd start work at 7 AM and leave at 4 PM. I can't see on the website if they have extended day care. I sure hope so.

Now it is a matter of timing. Maybe we can get some assistance from the intervention specialist. Maybe A will once again change his behavior. (Did the fact that he played football this fall make a big difference in his behavior? Ok, so we are trying to rev up his activity level).

Right now, if I get another call this week asking me to take him home before the end of the school day, I am asking for his records so I can enroll him in the public school. Sending him home is not addressing any kind of problem.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010



Lots of stuff going on. Wrestling, band, basketball. My 14 yo had a band competion a couple of Saturday's ago.

Drum solos, 8 o'clock on a Saturday morning. The night after Girl's night out. -Mediate on that. Thanksfully I only drank one Margarita.