I was reading an article and reflecting on my relationship with my husband. We have been married for over 22 years. During this time, we have both worked full time outside the home. Our division of chores tend to get divided close to the traditional line. But he does the yard work becaseu he is rather particular about it. He has a hard time turning it over to the teen age sons. (and the youngest takes advantage of it). I cook more often because I enjoy it and I am a bit better about timing it so it all get's done at the same time. I'd say laundry is a shared task. He does most of the folding. I clean the bathrooms because I don't mind it as mush as him and I leave floors to him. but in general, he is happy to let me do a task when I start it.
That said, we had an incident the other night that we both handled well even though we did not want to. I was rushing around to get dinner on the table after a long day. Hubby comes in a sits in his recliner. I think "Really? I sure could use some help so we can all eat. I sooo want to sit and relax a bit too." Then I actually listened to the part of the brain that said "Getting dinner on the table is not his priority right now. But maybe if you asked him nicely, he'll come help."
So I said "Hey Honey, can you come and put together a salad while I work on the rest of dinner?" So he eases out of his chair and comes in and starts to make the salad. After a few minutes he said "You know, when you first asked, I thought to myself "Really?""
Somewhere I found the grace to laugh and say "Yeah, I though the same thing as I was rushing around and you actually sat down. So tell me about your day."
This is not my typical posture. I admit to being a yeller. I don't like being wronged. I have to admit that this has a lot to do with my current job. I am enjoying my current job. I work form home half the time and feel like I can take care of my family by dropping off and picking up my son from school. No busing) and putting home-cooked meals on the table.
Our marriages are under so much pressure. I wish I could be more like this more often.