So I finished the Book To Hell with That: Loving and Loathing your Inner Housewife, by Caitlyn Flanagan. I saw a review of it at The Family CEO. I left a note on her blog that it sounded interesting and as a Mom who works outside the home, I was going to look for it. She replied back that she thought there were some things that might make me uncomfortable and to let her know what I thought of it. Well, I laughed, I cried and I got mad, but I also related. Her jumbled thought about the conflict between staying in the home and working outside of it mirrored my own turbulence. I want it all. I want the kids, I want the career, I want the nice home and the crafts area. And you know what, I have all that. I am satisfied with the way it all goes.
I was out to dinner last night with a group of friends. We do a monthly Girls Night out. One of the ladies asked another if she was working full time or staying home. K. replied that she stayed home full time and she was really glad she had the ability and the temperament to do so. That caused me to laugh. I was glad she said so. I love my boys. I longed to stay home for the same reason I nursed them. It was what would benefit them the most. But alas, I married for love and not money. My husband, in the beginning, had no regard for the fact that he liked to live beyond his means. He knew he should get more education in order to make more money, and he worked at it. But here I was, An MBA with skills in Information Technology. I could pull in the paycheck. One time right after our first son was born, He said “You know, I think it might be best if one of us stayed home with him.”
“Yes, but are you willing to be the one to stay home or are you willing to sell the house and one of the cars and eat beans and rice?” He wasn’t, so off to work I went.
I want to be a staunch supporter of Stay at home Moms. I believe the choice is the critical thing the generations before us have worked for. I believe it takes all kinds to make the world go ’round. But I enjoy my life. My boys are relatively happy and well adjusted. They do well in school. They do well in sports. My friend, the Stay at home Mom reminded me that a while back Hubby and I stated that we were “Glad our kids were average in ability” in sports because we could barely keep up with them in their recreational level leagues. Select sports is unthinkable.
My house is nowhere near as neat as my Mom’s is. (My Mom worked too!). But my generation lets me off the hook somewhat. Flanagan touches on this a bit when she talks about the mystique of Martha Stewart.